Its a Taradox.

It has certainly been a long time Blogger buddy... I apologize for ignoring you. I believe I should catch everyone up (not that anyone's reading...) I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, muscle spasms, insomnia, joint pain, brain fog, IBS, migraines, allergies, food/chemical sensitivity and muscle fatigue for quite some time and although some people don't believe in Fibromyalgia... I do. So if you're going to criticize me or tell me my symptoms are fake then you can stop reading, and fuck off. Its an everyday struggle for me to even wake up... The alarm goes off and I have two options. 1. Tackle the day or 2. Let the day tackle me. Some days are better than others that is for sure but that moment my alarm goes off I immediately have to get into the mind set that... "I can... and I will..." if i hesitate for 1 second and hit the snooze button everything falls apart for that extra 10 minutes of sleep is an excuse to procrastinate the entire day and blame it on my condition. Imagine that fear every day... fear that you and only you can prevent yourself from conquering the day, conquering your illness... Everyday of your god damn life. Its a struggle... its climbing the same mountain, everyday, the same way you did it before. Following in your own footsteps... day in and day out because no one can climb your mountain for you... no one else can blaze your trail. The hardest part is doing it alone. Who wouldn't want company when you walk the same path everyday? I don't need someone to carry me... I don't need someone to push me... or lead me... or hold my hand... or tell me you can do it, it'll be okay... I'm here for you. Maybe I need someone I can pull up this mountain with me, someone to follow in my footsteps... let me blaze their trail... I don't need a shoulder to cry on to get me through me struggle. I need someone to cry on my shoulder so I know I'm not alone.

sick and tired...

of being sick and tired!

Well its been over 3 weeks now and I've been plagued! What started out as allergies, progressed into a sinus infection which I stubbornly didn't seek treatment for immediately. I finally went to the doctor and she scolded me for letting it progess that far... a z-pack later I was back at the doctor getting blood work and chest x-rays and found out i have pneumonia and possibly chronic mono... Now I'm on a round of steroids, another z-pack and singulair. I'm completely at my whits end here. The steroids make me slightly irritable, and by slightly I mean INCREDIBLY... However, the fact that I've been sick for 3 weeks doesn't help the irritability at all.

Okay but I'm all about silver linings... so here it is..

The save the dates are ready to be sent out as soon as my stamps arrive! WOO HOO! Yes yes I splurged on stamps to match the STD's... Call it silly if you must. I know they're just going to end up in the trash anyway...
I got to watch a lot of house, discovery channel, movies and (my fav) HGTV the past few days...
We took a trip (or 2) to the new Lowes just down the road to purchase some new light fixtures and ceiling fans to replace the horrendous 1950's fixtures that were here when we moved in.. We also bought a nifty electric heater that looks like a gas stove which is currently keeping the living room nice and toasty while I blog.
Got some laundry done... however only a little bit at a time since its incredibly difficult to do anything physical when you can't take a deep breath.
In other wedding related news... check out the registry at Ourwishingwell.com!
That's about as silver as the lining gets...

I hope my test results come back okay tomorrow. Apparently swollen lymph nodes are indicative of some very not pretty illnesses... Fingers crossed!!!

baad blogger! BAD BAD BLOGGER!

So, FSIL scolded me via facebook earlier for a blog update... And now I'm scolding myself! Its been 1 month since my last post! Sheeesh! A lot can happen in a month... and well, as always, I'm at work... but I caught a few mins to atleast give an update via mobile pictures!



Well, it just so happens I turned 24 on Aug 2nd... so a lot of really fun things happened... dinner, parties, kidnappings and lots of (responsible) drinking of course... Here's one of my favorites... a buttery nipple! MMMmmmm


Also, a home reno project is underway... TILE!!! You can also see a very welcomed addition into the 9 Clayton family... our new dishwasher!!! :-D



And well, Thor met a new play mate! My dearest college friend Kellie's puppy Harry! Awww!


We've been busy little bees especially since all the birthdays and seemingly endless picnics and parties! Not that I'm complaining or anything...

Well, I do have more pictures at home and I promise not to be such a stranger! Sorry blog world!

inspiration board number 9,854,265

and counting...

Its 3am, I'm working 3rd shift... I'm tired... and I'm using all my energy wedding-ing.

More cardstock and envelope samples are on their way... design is "in progress" as I have like 50 options right in front of me... I have my favorites we just need the hubby's opinion now...

Ahhhhhh less than a year!!!

another inspiration...

So, this wedding planning thing has been full of inspirations.... here is a board made by another bride... she titled is "red and brown rustic wedding" I looove it :-)


image from google images...

dressing the bridal party...

Well, the ladies were easy! (not like that people c'mon...) Now as for the men... I'm completely up in the air!

or...

I'm really all in all a fan of the first combo... but its really hard to tell how its going to alll fit together... I need to SEE it, not just "visualize it" and cut and paste into paint... its just not he same. Hmm, i wonder if I can high jack that dress at beautiful beginnings and sneak it down to deitrich's.... probably not... Soooo many decisions!!!

Call me spoiled...

But since I've been with Michael the "I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT ITS!" have constantly been turning into "I HAVE IT I HAVE IT I HAVE ITS!!!" and Saturday's BM shopping extravaganza was NO exception. *Le sigh* no longer... the BM champagne, lacy, strapless, sweatheart, cocktail length dream has COME TRUE!!!! My 5 lovely BM's, my mom, mike's mom and a little chlo bug had an amazing day Saturday. No tears were shed (by the adults), no crankies, no under the breath murmurs, no fighting, no arguing, no sadness, no let down, no disappointment saturday! We found a dress then ate lunch!! <3

On top of that, oh boy oh boy *bounce* do I have pictures from what's been going on at the beloved Hartman Homestead in the past 2 months since Mike's been out of school! We have a new deck, a new pool, a new pot rack, a new stove, soon to be new tile, new ceiling fans, new lots of stuff! *pictures coming soooon*

I know they call really crabby demanding brides "bridezilla" but what about happy-as-a-clam crazy excited brides??? a google search says... "wedding goddess" haha hey, i'm fine with that. :-)

alllllll smiles about everything right now... and (ew) its MONDAY! haha

hit the GOLD MINE!!

The light gold mine to be exact... designer alfred angelo. *le sigh* i've never seen this dress before, I hope it still exists cause.. i want it, i want it! I WANT IT!!!

programs!

http://www.weddingbee.com/2010/06/02/wedding-program-format/#comment-1093773

my inspiration board keeps growing and growing! one thing I was totally blanking with a giant brain fart was programs... thanks again wedding bee! lol

really the only reason i post these things is so i can reference back to them when it comes time to start a DIY... but how adorable!!

TABLE RUNNERS!

Love these, thanks to the hive and special bee vagabondgurl

http://diy.weddingbee.com/topic/vagabondgurls-diy-ruffled-burlap-table-runners

Haha

I was just looking at my etsy purchases from the past year since Andrea introduced me to it... Everything I have bought thus far has a starfish on it except for 1 thing.... a pair of underwear that says "Mrs. Hartman" on the back in blue for my "something blue" haha

I have a migraine... going back to bed. Which sucks because they're starting the sewers today and there is serious construction goin on outside my house right now.

its been a hail of a day!

Well, today at about 5pm the Trexlertown area was graced with the presence of a rediculous severe thunderstorm accompanied by a tornado warning. So, I heard the warning on the radio and decided to move to a place in the building where I could see the storm roll in... So, there I was standing at a garage door and BAM hail. At first it was just like, dime size, then nickel, then quarter, then half dollar, then golf ball, then raquet ball, then baseball sized. WELL needless to say I stopped watching at about half dollar sized because the wind was so strong it was BLOWING this huge hail about 50 feet INTO the plant. Thank god for hard hats! So my hopes of watching this storm "progress" turned into running for cover and scrambling to close doors. After the hail stopped I wandered outside to take a gander at the rediculousness mother nature had unleashed upon our area... Which mind you, sounded much like living under a bowling alley, or perhaps subway tracks... and this is what a found.



I also discovered that my car is JACKED UP. No windows were broken, thank god... but my poor HHR looks like a golf ball. Atleast biggy smalls made it through his first hail storm without any serious damage... Unfortunately my car was not the only one damaged... So yeah, after my excursion outside post-apocolypse a voice on the radio told me that "trexlertown has experienced dime sized hail" lol listen buddy... dime sized just doesn't cut it in this case... I have pictures and A RULER to prove it. Mind you, the pictures were taken about 15 mins after the hail stopped and that thing melted a lot on the way inside... PHHHT DIME SIZED. Never a dull moment right folks?

tied up... and twisted!

so this'll be a fun post. here are some silly ties i found...







my vote is for the lobsters!!! thank you etsy seller toybreaker! what a great shop!

Home improvement!

Well, this week on Clayton Ave we said bye bye to our blue foundation walls!!
and welcomed a much more muted, adobe beige colored foundation!
I have 2 regrets...
1. Not wearing sunscreen.
2. NOT DOING THIS SOONER!!!!!

What a difference a coat of paint and some elbow grease can make!

I need to post some more before and afters of some things when I have time to blog from home...
- new ceiling fans!
- new euro vanity!
- new bedroom set!!
- new pot rack!
Its always a home depot day for Michael... he's been so productive this week! Well, we both have! Horray! We also got rid of the random metal shower stall in the basement today! I am so excited to spend the weekends doing some home improvement projects with Michael!!

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!!

a picture is really worth a thousand words... need i say anything else?

flower girl dress... CHECK!

tan suits!

So, I do believe michael has agreed to the tan suit.
photo courtesy of a bee!

in love...

well, i hit the jackpot today... while browsing the david's bridal site as I often do to keep me occupied at work, i came across this lovely number.


and found myself a dress to wear for eric and melinda's wedding! :-) The question will be when to bite the bullet and buy the thing... Lucky me, I have a coupon from David's from buying my wedding dress there sooooo score!

off the cuff... link.

I think I may have had my first bridezilla moment yesterday... yes, over CUFF LINKS. Well, I seem to have prematurely "decided" on the cuff links...

When I showed them to Michael he said the most dreaded word in wedding planning history... TACKY. *shudder* THEN the Ryans of the wedding party also said the word... I like to think of this as the "vuldemort" of wedding planning... "he who must not be named.." "that of which we do not speak..." The T work completely and seriously pushes my buttons, in this "case" my beer caps. (ohhh puns) Soooooo this t-work fiasco has prompted me to rethink my decision for my "wedding day surprise" for Michael but, that's a secret... So YET AGAIN Michael (who claims to want NO part in planning the wedding) has made me go back to the drawing board. Yes, made ME go back to the drawing board... he only wants to veto and nix ideas not EVER come up with ANY of this own. YES the capital letters are made to STRESS my ANGER over the WHOLE SITUATION!

Well, etsy to the rescue this time because I DO have ANOTHER idea for cuff links. Michael actually used an exclamation point to respond to the "what about this..." text message which, is like... completely unheard of in Michael land. Mr. Straighasanarrow got EXCITED about something for the wedding... and of all things? CUFF LINKS. Well, here it is...

My little pirate himself has unused treasure all over the house, I can't believe I didn't think of using his coins for things before... BUT we don't want a pirate wedding all bootied out with glass eyes and wooden legs strewn about now do we? Well, I think they are just darling and much less *gasp* "tacky" than the beer caps. And, they got a rise out of the man... so how can I say no? I think I will utilize the maintenance department here at work... soldering or welding these coins to the blank cuff links...

really... FREAKIN' CUFF LINKS.

with this ring...

so, I often say this phrase... but I fell in love with something today...


fingerprint wedding bands!!! from etsy shot fabuluster. If you haven't checked them out I strongly suggest it. Even if it isn't for a wedding band... this would be a fantastic gift for a LOT of occasions! birthday, anniversary, christmas... So, if it so happens that michael does not want to get these, I will most certainly want one any way!