I feel like bouncing!

Ah excitement!!! Settlement tomorrow!!! I honestly think I need a sedative... because all day long, my heart has been beating like a hummingbird's. Did you ever get so excited you can't feel fingers and your toes?!? Maybe that's just me... but really... I'm stuck in the never ending cycle of almost crying happy tears and passing out from excitement. The adrenaline is pumpin!!! I feel like I could definately stay up, all night, and be awake all day tomorrow and paint and move every peice of furniture we have by myself. Ecstatic does not even cover it. I think the best part about it all is that my parents are out of town... and by the time they get back we'll be moved into our new house!!!! I feel so.. grown up :-D The funny thing is, I think about how much I couldn't WAIT to get out of hamburg... and now I can't WAIT to spend the rest of my life in the silly little town. It really is just too freaking cute. Its really true though... most of us Hamburgians just never leave!

Ahh I get to bask in the glory of our adorable brick capecod for the rest of my life. I'm so happy... :-D I feel like bouncing! and going WeEEEeeeEEEE!!!!! Some one pinch me... I feel like I'm in heaven.

<3

a butterfly with wet wings...

Ah yes, yet another Saturday spent at ICO... while everyone else is sipping frosty beverages, soaking up the sun and laughing with their friends and loved ones... here i rott. Now, I must say that althought I despise working on Saturdays, I find it necessary to eat up as much company time as possible... because, afterall, I spend a majority of my time here surfing the internet, blogging, and of course facebook stalking. So all in all, I'm not necessarily the loser here. However, I think I'm low on vitamin D from lack of sunlight. I'm also low on excitement... due to the excessive amounts of time spent reading the news and catching up on the latest celebrity gossip, which really in turn, makes me low on brain cells as well. All work and no play make Tara... TaraBull. Hmmf. I truly want to throw a full on temper tantrum... stomping feet, crying, throwing things, yelling and all... WAHHH!!! :'(

To be completely honest, I could walk out the door right now and no one could even say anything about it. Saturday is "make your own schedule day." But unfortunately I'm feeling guilty about the 30$ bar tab Mike and I racked up at Cousins last night... and I just feel a bit better knowing that I'm making up for it. Consequently that means giving up another Saturday that could be spent drinking and socializing. I think the biggest blow this job has produced has been to my social life. I'm like a butterfly with wet wings... *sigh*

I guess this is the American dream... work your life away to have things you can't really afford. Yet, we forge on... a whole shit ton of us... 90% of our lives consist of work, sleep and food leaving a mere 10% for fun activities. You'd think spending this much time working... you couldn't even fathom spending 100% of your paycheck, in 10% of your time... but oh yes, it happens.

Its absurd to wrap my mind around the fact I've been doing this job for nearly a year... I'm surprised I have any friends at all... I truly am that girl who always works. Crap.




And this is my entertainment for the day... :-P

easy as 1,2,3...

Oh M.J. one of my favorite and beloved pop stars. I always defended you during the bad times... I hope you're in celebrity heaven. Many tears will be shed for you today.

And Farrah Fawcett... the Girl Next Door... who made blond hair blue eyes beautiful babes what they are today..

Ed McMahon... not really a fan... but sad to see you go, all the same.

Bad things come in threes they say.... but when you think about it, 3 to me, is a different 3 to someone else... which is exponentially, and devistatingly, tragic.

Here's to having the strength to hope for a better tomorrow... and carrying on... taking life one day at a time, while we still can. Our time here is precious... we should spend it smiling... because tomorrow is another chance, to make the best of what we have. Remembering the lost... with smiles on our faces of the precious, wonderful memories we had... and all the more amazing times we will have in the future, with you in our hearts. With love to all we've lost...

there's no place like home...

Less than 1 week til closing and I'm absolutely ecstatic. Everything is falling so nicely into place. All the peices of the puzzle are present and accounted for. We have all our ducks in a row and our eggs in plenty of different baskets. The paint colors are picked, the furniture is gathered, fridge is on hold, hot tub is bought, boxes are collected, schedules are cleared, parents' have been alerted. There's no stopping us now... homeownership, here we come.

I thought that the most exciting day of my life would be a toss up between getting married and having a baby... but this house-buying thing has got to be up there. So far, buying a house is definately better than getting a puppy... a big-girl job... moving across the country... graduating college... my first apartment... graduating highschool... first car... prom... my first kiss... first date... but then again, I guess the excitement progresses as the years go by... and all these firsts are the building blocks of the next. Its times like these where I wish i kept a scrapbook of all the first in my life. For what an accomplishment it would be looking at the progression from graduating kindergarten.. losing my baby teeth... so on and so on until today, right now, all grown up, in love and buying a house.

Ever since college I've had some kind of complex that no matter where I lived, no place felt like home... I was constantly clicking together my ruby slippers in hopes something would wisk me away to a place I could call home... Maybe along that yellow brick road of life I've learned all the lessons I'll ever need to know.... I'm thrilled to say that I no longer feel like a drifter.

give me a lollypop and I'll tell you to suck it.

I've come to realize something this weekend... I've officially sold my soul to corporate america. Lets just break down my "weekend" for you all. I worked 3-11:30pm on Friday... came home, slept a bit, woke up at 6:30am to work at 8am... Worked from 8am-5:30pm... went home, went out to dinner, hung out with my brothers, went to the bar til 2am, hung out with some people til like 3:30am? Woke up at 10am-ish... did some window shopping... bought a HOT TUB! Went to Michael's to hang out with Alice and Daniel... came home, slept for an hour... woke up at 10pm, went to work at 11pm and I'm stuck here til 7:30am.

Just a short recap... Second shift-Friday, First shift- Saturday, Third shift- Sunday. Why would any sane human being do this to themselves? Money. Why am I physcially and mentally exhausted? Money. Money Money Money Money. I now know why people have nervous breakdowns... the more you work, the more money you make, the more taxes they take out... and you're working your ass off... and barely making enough to pay the bills let alone afford all of the amenities I desire... appliances, furniture, paint, decorations, trinkets, vacations, a deck, a finished basement, hot tub, pool, faux stone finish, kitchen tile, and other such HGTV-esk items. Why does it seem like the more money you make, the more you desire? You think the money would be enough... but it never is. When I was flat broke, I was as happy and desireless as a clam... give me food and shelter, I was freaking set. Get me a job, put some money in my bank account and all I want is stuff. I want a house, I want nice things, I want I want I want. And greed is one of those seven deadly sins... not like I think I'm gettin' into heaven anyway... but it makes me feel like a bad person. I don't think I've ever wanted so much in my entire life. Even as a child... give me a lollypop and a stuffed animal I'm the happiest blond hair blue eyed beauty you've ever seen. Now, give me a lollypop and I'll tell you to suck it... I want something way better than sugar on a stick. I wan creme brule, banana's foster, tiramisu. Give me a stuffed animal... yeah, suck on that too. That peice o' junk's a dog toy. Give me a stainless steel dishwasher, a glass range-top and a dark teal washer/dryer combo. So I want these things, and I want them now... and the only way to get it is to make more money... work more hours... leaving less and less time for me to love my hunny, play with my dog, use all my expensive stuff! Its a viscious cycle... you buy things to save time because you don't have any time because you're constantly working to make more money so you can buy things, to save time and money. It makes my brain cells scream. I feel like such... an American. A stereotypical, keep up with the Jones', my shits better than your shit, kind of yuppy that I always hated. I used to be a minimalist... whatever I had was all I needed. Now I'm a materialist. I have to say it does make me feel "grown up" but inside I still want my lollypop. Growing up, having responsibilities isn't something I truly ever imagined myself doing. I was never a fan of "stuff." Now, I love stuff. I want more stuff. I need stuff.... stuff stuff stuff. Its easier to fall into the "stuff" market than it was to stay out and badmouth it. Hell yes, I want STUFF! Things, things to do, things to do nothing with, junk, a sign in my bathroom that says "BATH 5 CENTS." I want knick nacks and doo dads and things with no purpose. I want to fill glass jars, with glass beads and sit them on shelves that are only used to hold my glass jars with glass beads! I want a hot tub, because I've been working my ass off so I can get nice shit.. and I damn well better be able to come home from a long day at work and take advantage of my money, in STUFF form! I feel like I sold out... but I fucking love it. I'm hungry for stuff... I like to walk through stores and pick stuff up, but never buy it... because I'm too good for that stuff. I need better stuff, the best stuff. And if I'm lucky, it'll be on sale. I'll find it at a yard sale, Marshalls, BigLots! Hell yes. This money grubbing, greedy little bitch is a bargain shopper. And why? because you can get more stuff if you don't pay as much for it. I'm always on the prowl for a good find. Hell yes we bought a $6,000 hot tub for $1000 dollars! Where, craiglist mother fuckers. CRAIGSLIST of CHAMPIONS! Where's my favorite necklace from- EBAY. SUCK IT! It was cheap, and it is AWESOME. I love it, I love it, I love it. Bargains bargains bargains! And you know what else? I'll sell someone else my junk, so I can get better junk. You bet your ass, I will. Who says the best things in life are free? The best things in life are ON SALE! Hell yes. The best things in life are $.89 cent burritos, 5 dollar foot-longs, upgrades, bartered. I've got the fever... the fever for a blue light Walmart special. The fever for the FREE section on Craigslist. The FEVER for Ebay! The fever for yardsales and bargain stores, hell even ground scores, curb finds, dumpster diving. Bring it on I say! Bring it on. I guess this is what happens when you become a home owner. The more stuff you own, the more stuff you want to own, another viscious cycle. Then comes upgrading... you can always upgrade... new shit comes out, every single day. Something that's 1 year old is outdated... especially with all this new crazy technology. And "green living" there's always crazy new ideas! Why not get a solar feild? Why not a tankless water heater? Why not collect rain water to flush the toilets... this shit is genius! It saves you money, so you can buy more shit! Oh these market geniuses have really got their claws in me... Them Jones's is screwed son... Move over hunny.. I've got this shit on lock down. Maybe I'm trying to out do my big brothers... maybe it just about finally doing things for myself... But really... its about impressing myself. Its about impressing my loved ones and showing my family I'm not just the little sister. I'm grown up now... I've fallen in love with Mike, I've fallen in love with a house, and I'm going to fall in love with everything in that house. Its about commitment.... and its about love. And I'm in love and absolutely commited to all the stuff I have and will have in the future. Its about... settling down... getting comfortable in the life I want to live forever. Its about our white picket fence, somewhere that's green, with our 2.5 kids and our mini van. Its about sacrificing what I had for what I want and never giving up my dream to live "happily ever after."



sometimes love just happens.. and it happens hard and it happens fast... and you know that in your heart and in your soul.. it just doesn't get any better than this. and I know as long as I live, I'll be happy as long as we can stay, just like this forever

monday feels like Theusday? 0.o

When Friday feels like Monday... and Saturday feels like Tuesday... Sunday feels like Wednesday... Monday is Theusday? Wunday? Frusday? Materday? Thunday? Wuesday?Tonday? Muesday?



Now I'm no genius... the days of the week tend the blur together in a mishmosh of memories when you work on the weekends...



I guess in the end it doesn't really matter what day it actually is... but its nice to know... if i were to get in a horrific car accident and the EMT's asked me what day it was.. I'm certain I would answer incorrectly. Do I have brain damage? Or am I simply a work-a-holic? Maybe there's truly no difference between the two... I am disabled... time-disabled, socially disabled... I believe this is an illness that plagues many. Perhaps there should be a W.A. work-a-holics anonymous. The largest orgnization of hardworking Americans plagued by bills and mortgages, mouths to feed... Government funded.... mandatory weekly meetings... 12 hours of social interaction among peers away from the workplace. Paid weekly vacation for all. Decreases in crime... increase in buying, increase in libido! What a dream.



Dear Mr. President Obama,



Work-a-holism is plaguing the country. I am proposing that work-a-holics be compensated for their emotional stress. We are disabled human beings. Work-a-holics suffer from depression, insomnia, constant worry, anxiety, back aches, neck aches, bunyons, tendonitis, carpal tunnel, arthritis, muscle aches, pains, early onset diabetes, erectile dysfunction even! And, that's just scratching the surface. We need fair and just compensation for our troubles. It is work-a-holics that keep this country going... the over-worked, the under-paid, the shit on, the underdogs, the low man on the totem pole, the always deserving of a raise that never sees a dime, the over-taxed, the un-insured, the 2 job man, the penny pincher, the smart shopper. We are socially disabled, sleep deprived, broke, bill paying, law abiding citizens who need a break, a paid vacation, a free massage, a shopping spree, a hug, a new car, a raise, a tax deduction, a pre-paid credit card, an interest free loan, free education, and for Christ's sake free health care. Throw us a freaking bone here!!!



Sincerely,



The concerned citizens of America.

Craigslist... list of champions.

Searching craigslist...

Size 20 jeans.
1950's Toilet.
Old Lumber.
Free bricks.
Ladies Poncho.
Kittens.
Hotdogs.
Soy milk.
Free Manure!
62 Impala.
Beer stein.
Hospital bed.
Red sandals 6.5.
Irish knit sweaters.
Nitrous kit.
Pirates of the caribbean t-shirt.
Boat anchor.
Front door.
Love seat.
Assorted car parts.
Air jordans.
Rear view mirror.
Elmo chair.
Wedding dress.
Turtle sandbox.
Scooby-doo table.
Snowblower.
Bread.
Guinea pig.
Broken TV.
Aquarium.
Free teeth whitening.
Paint.
Baby food jars.
Soap.
Free chunks of concrete.
Junk.
Piano.
Pregnancy books.
Poplar trees.
Magazines, years old.
FREE ORGANS.

yardsales and hard tales.

Ah, a night I will never forget. The Penguins won the cup. It was a sad day in the lives of many as my beloved Red Wings skated off the ice, heads held high up in their asses... Tis a sad sad tale. So, we drank pitty beers in Kempton... Fun times, had by all in the hippied little farmhouse that could very well be in violation of many codes...

The day began at 7am, for some much needed unloading and uploading of things. Twas indeed a successful day. Things were sold, and given away... Things were found and purchased but as always, the best things in life are FREE! Ah, no sale could be better. So I spent the day with my lover, and got some money and some free stuff too. No one really loses on days like this. Especially when coinstar and a sack full of nickels is involved.

Ah yes, and now I spend yet another Saturday in the dusty pits of labor. Overtime is sweet. Monetarily speaking, today was a haul. Not to mention, it was completely painless. It feels like Christmas!!!

I feel as though I should come up with some sort of yard sale metaphor for life, as is my style... metaphors, simmalies... and that kind of happy grammar junk. Ah yes, junk. One man's junk is another man's pain in the ass... only when one's mind is deep in the gutter would some one think of some man-butter. Maybe life is really like a yard sale... We're all just passing stuff around until it finds its "forever home" around the world this thing might go, be it a spoon, or a unicorn... a pot, a lamp, a lover... Just passed around, exchanged hands over and over in hopes that someone will love it so much it won't come back to you again.

"Here are some shoes, I think you'll like them... "
"Sorry ma'am they're not for me..."
"How bout you? You like these shoes?"
"Sorry ma'am, I don't wear shoes, see?"
"What about you? These shoes look like they're made for you!"
"Why yes why yes! I love those shoes,
can I please take them off of you?"
"Of course of course, but for a price...
afterall, they're really really really nice..."
"They are! they are! I love them so!
How could you ever let them go??"
"Just take 'em will you? Have them for free!
afterall those shoes... they just aren't for me!
They were meant for you, I know
That is why I must let them go..."

If only life were that easy... Something/ someone doesn't work for you... Don't you wish you could just give them to someone else? Ah life would be a little easier if it were like a yard sale... its easier to let things go... when they have another home to go to.

This truly isn't making any sense... I guess what I'm trying to say... is if you're not happy with what you have, just know there's someone out there, somewhere looking for the hand that you've been dealt. And today, in yard sale land... all is right with the world... everything in its place... everyone with a smile on their face. :-D

<3 Tara-fic <3

I forgot about this blog.

All you have to do is fucking... know shit!

<3