re-cap, 09

Well, I'd have to say 2009 was hands down, the best year ever. The photo book I made Michael really did a good job at recapping the wonderful 365 days of joy but I'll attempt to do it in words as well.
The day after Mike and I first hung out the day after Christmas 2008... That's when my life really fell into place... The days after Christmas before New Years I absolutely fell in love... of course I didn't say anything yet, but I know we both knew. We spend days and days just telling stories about our lives, sharing pictures and nick knacks, treasures, shells, pottery shards, stuff that wouldn't have meant anything to some people meant the world to us. It was very refreshing to finally find someone who had most of the same values and qualities as I do... generous but frugal, adventurous and prepared, smart and silly. Although we couldn't tell my brother or half of Mike's friends for fear of poor Mike getting his ass kicked... we saw each other everyday. Michael took care of me when I was sick... we watched movies with my mom, we drank wine, we had a lot of fun...
Then, we welcomed our first "child" together.. Pepito. Now, Mike and I had not planned on getting a puppy "together" but I had been begging my mother for months about getting a puppy. So I put in an application for this little guy who has the saddest story to tell... Pepito has 2 brothers and 3 sisters... Unfortunately some ****head decided that it would be a good idea to get rid of the puppies by putting them in a burlap sack with rocks and throwing them into a lake... Pepito's sisters didn't make it :-(. Luckily the 3 boys did. I put in an application for any of them, Pep, Ponch and Patch and Beth matched me with Pep because he was the underdog of the three and she thought he would love my ferrets. So the morning of Jan 10th we drove out to Mount Bethel to retrieve our little bundle of joy... I stress LITTLE, he was only 5 pounds!!! So while I went to work, Michael took Pepito everywhere with him... he met his cousins Katy and Calie, his aunts Lily and Jessie, his uncle Bear of course... also Archie... his kitten friends Pumpkin, Cali and Fiona and his ferret friends Rocky, Gus, Princess, and Riki! We trained him and loved him as much as any two new happy parents could of course.
Shortly after our new arrival Mike and I decided that it was too damn cold in PA and we needed a vacation! So, we planned a cruise in April!! We drove to Miami, which for most couples would be a pretty awful experience but it was rather enjoyable for us. Mike did nearly all the driving, and I did a lot of sleeping but we also had a lot of really fun conversations... plus we got to stop in St. Augustine and play on the beach for a little bit. We had the most amazing time on our cruise... everyone thought we were newlyweds and we hadn't even been dating for 4 months. We did everything and anything we possibly could... kayaking, snorkeling, parasailing, rock climbing, beach lounging, buffet eating, we dressed up, we didn't get dressed at all, we ate, we slept, we drank, we laughed, we smoked cigars, it felt like a honeymoon! :-) the only bad part about the cruise was it had to end! AHHH Then back to work...
Ah yes, before we left on this cruise we had done some house hunting. Of course people thought we were crazy.. but I knew I wanted to live with Michael, we wanted a place to call our own... to take all our treasures out of boxes and display them proudly all over the living room... So we hunted, we put in 2 offers on 2 houses that we're glad we didn't get after all. The whole experience was a little stressful for me... so I was pretty mad at Mike when we didn't get the 2nd house. So I told him I wasn't going to go look at ANY OTHER houses until he KNEW that this was the house he wanted to spend the rest of our lives in... Well, low and behold, a few days later our realtor called Mike with a new listing, its first day on the market. So Michael went to take a look at 9am and left me and the pup at home. About an hour later, I was told I needed to come see the house. Reluctantly, I agreed... despite the fact I thought I was in for more heartache and let-down. So, my mom, Michael and I went to see the little brick cape cod on Clayton Ave. We closed about a month later, June 30th, 2009. We painted, and moved, a decorated and spent our first night in our new house on July 4th... how fitting INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! Haha.
Our next big milestone was our 2nd pup, Thor, the 95lb black lab/horse/bear/goat mix from Bloomsburg. Thor arrived on Aug 2, my 23 birthday, what a great present! What a destructive and adorable addition to our family. Pepito and Thor are the best of friends.. Pito will jump on poor Thor's head and bite his paws and Thor doesn't seem to mind at all. They're a good pair. Ah yes, the list of things that Thor has eaten grows by the day... a plate of brownies, a jar of Hershey kisses (which made Thor poo shiny golden nuggets that sparkled in the yard...), a $90 Ralph Lauren pump (fortunately I found the same pair, online on sale for 40... my favorite shoes!), Mike's photo book, a box of chalk, a tube of furo-vite, wrapping paper, Christmas ornaments, and god only knows what else he destroyed and left no evidence of... Ohhhh Thor.
1 last milestone for the year, that I originally forgot about when first posting this blog... Michael started college!!!!! He's going for his associates in Mechanical Engineering at Penn State Berks right now... I hope that he changes his mind and goes for his Bachelor's but, as long as he's happy I'm happy. He's doing very well! He completely his first semester successfully! 1 down, 3 to go. I'm so proud of him... it takes a lot of guts to go back to school when you're not old enough to be "a non-traditional" student but you're too old to go to frat parties. I don't think he realizes just how proud of him I am... but I really really am sooo proud of my hunny! <3
A few random trips were scattered in there somewhere Assateague Island, Maryland was a BLAST. I hope we do this every year. I loved every second of it... even though I got eaten alive. We went to MD to help Ben and Jackie move... we went to Delaware with Kristi and Jon... a hike to the pinnacle with puppy Pito, a Flyers game, many Royals games, many man trips to Cousins, the Westy, Pappy T's, even some bowling, and many dinner dates later... brings us to our first Christmas.
Mike proposed on Dec 13th :-) making me the happiest most excited girl in the world... Then unfortunately, my baby ferret Rocky passed away on Dec 20th... but the days go on, Christmas was sure to follow, as it did. It was nice to spend the days with our families. I couldn't ask for a better family to marry into. They're amazing... I've only met them all a few times yet they gave me the PERFECT gifts that I LOOOVE every single one of. It was a great Christmas.
Sadly, all good things come to an end and it back to work for a 3 day week then, New Years!!! I'm really excited to see what this new year will bring! I can't imagine it being more full of excitement then 09 but hey, I could be wrong... We could hit the lottery or something, maybe find some amazing dream job... I guess we'll have to wait and see.
I do know one thing though, as long as I have Mike, anything is possible. Its just been such a year of growth and learning for me... everything I thought I knew about love was, completely wrong. Some people say that love is all you need, but I've come to learn that love is just one of the many things you need to make a relationship work... compromise, maturity, understanding, intelligence, humour just to name a few. A few years back I thought the only thing you needed to "be in love" was just to love someone and have them love you in return. Turns out that no matter how much someone loves you, if they're some asshole idiot who takes you for granted and treats you like dirt than you need more than love. That combination only makes misery... which is a feeling I had closely associated with love. So here's to all those assholes! Thanks for nothing.
I love you Michael, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me... I've had a lot of bad experiences with men and you have completely undone all the damage I thought was irreparable. Maybe I don't deserve you, but I am damn happy and very proud to have you. <333 Thank you for making this the best year of my life... and here's to many many more!

beating myself up...

Today has been very... trying, to say the least. There is just something about Tuesdays that I always despise... and eventhough I only have 1 more day of work left before I get to spend the long Christmas weekend with Michael, the dogs and our families I am just absolutely miserable beyond belief today. Maybe its because Michael woke me up entirely too last to even get a shower before work... maybe I'm in the anger phase of accepting Rocky's death... maybe its just the stress of it all but I've never want to STRANGLE EVERYONE SO BAD! I just want to scream at the top of my lungs as loud as I possibly can.... just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The grimmace on my face does not even begin to scratch the surface of the rage I'm feeling right now. My heart is beating a mile a minute and my brain isn't working at all. Work is nearly impossible. I'm a lab tech, I test lab samples. That's all I do, that's what I get paid to do and for some reason today, I just cannot come to terms with that. Everytime I see a sample in my sample bin I feel like God himself is torturing me somehow. I. just. want. to. scream. Now I'm nearly in tears just thinking about all the emotions I'm feeling right now that I'm unable to express. There's just no logical way to express such anger. I don't believe I've ever been so enraged, at all. Everyone is my enemy today.. even the bastards that gave me perfect little thoughtful Christmas presents, the DJ on B104 who's playing my favorite song, Mike who only wants to help, everyone working here right now. What is this lump in my throat? Why are these tears in my eyes? 2 more days til Christmas and I feel so awful I could curb stomp Santa Claus himself. There's clearly something wrong with me... a bad chord in my head strummed the wrong way causing imminent catastrophe. I feel like a child in who can't get the toy they want, kicking and screaming, red in the face, tears streaming down, making a total fool out of oneself, over what? I just want to go home, and cry for days... forget Christmas, forget New Years... I don't want my presents. I just want to wallow in my own self-pity. I am an empty shell of what I once was... my heart's broken in a million peices, I am numb to the world. Lock me away, I feel as though I don't deserve anything I have... my job, my house, my fiance, this ring, my dogs, my ferrets who are still alive... I don't deserve a damn thing. I just can't seem to snap out of this, I know its only been 2 days but how long does the pain last? How long can I blame myself? How long can I beat myself up before there's nothing left of me? How long? How long can I beat myself up? How long can I bring myself down?

Rocky Raccoon...

Now somewhere in the black mining hills of Dakota
There lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
Hit young Rocky in the eye Rocky didn't like that
He said I'm gonna get that boy
So one day he walked into town
Booked himself a room in the local saloon.

Rocky Raccoon checked into his room
Only to find Gideon's bible
Rocky had come equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy.
Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy.
Now she and her man who called himself Dan
Were in the next room at the hoedown
Rocky burst in and grinning a grin
He said Danny boy this is a showdown
But Daniel was hot-he drew first and shot
And Rocky collapsed in the corner.

The doctor came in stinking of gin
And proceeded to lie on the table
He said Rocky you met your match
And Rocky said, Doc it's only a scratch
And I'll be better I'll be better doc as soon as I am able.

Now Rocky Raccoon he fell back in his room
Only to find Gideon's bible
A Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good Rocky's revival.


My favorite Beatles song... inspired the name of my little Rocky nearly 3 years ago. When my mom and I went to pick Rocky out from the petstore, he was the tiniest little guy there and all the larger ferrets wouldn't let poor Rocky get to the food dish. How could I resist? I took my little runt home... its sad to think that the first days I spent with Rocky were very much like his last... Rocky was so tiny and frail when he first set foot into the Beretsky family... I would constantly check on the little tyke to make sure he was still breathing. Rocky had a great life. He had many ferret friends, and adventures. I never met an animal or a person who didn't love Rocky and who Rocky didn't love in return... except that time he tried to eat my hamster dizzy lizzy. Rocky spent most of his life in Kutztown in my smelly cruddy little Cliff's house, he also stayed with Emily, the Beretsky and finally, 9 Clayton ave. Rocky had frequent visitors and long-time friends... a kitty named pounce, a pitbull named Roxy, a boxer name Cleo, his uncle Bear the collie, Riki, Rosco, Andre, Cody, Pippin, Daisy, Gus-gus, Sushi, Gus and Princess, his ferret friends... Unfortunately, Rocky came down with an unknown condition which caused him to become severely anemic... dispite mommy and daddy's efforts Rocky passed away early yesterday morning in his sleep. I am absolutely devestated. Rocky and I were two peas in a pod... he went everywhere with me... Punkin' Chunkin' contests, the SUB, Weis, Geology Club, the green house, the eco plot... my fovrite memory of Rocky is when the ice-storm hit Kutztown a few years back... Rocky and Riki were at 600S with me and they had the opportunity to go "sledding" down the front yard. What a site to see these two... sliding down the ice, they loved every second of it.

Rocky was your typical ferret... he liked to eat kitten food and puppy food, hoard pizza crust, makes nests out of random paper products lying around the house, steal socks, chew on my crocs, crawl in my drawers, climb his cage, scale the screens on the windows, chase the vacuum cleaner, give ferret kisses, play with pitbulls, chase hamsters, dig in the dirt, poop in front of doors, hide in the closet, eat kellie's birthday gag-gift (a large rubber dildo)... Rocky was always up to something... His favorite place was under my sweatshirt or in my coat pocket, cleverly named the Rocket Pocket. There are so many memories I have of the little guy... He was my best friend during a part of my life where I was struggling with relationships, taking on too much responsibility, spreading myself too thin, graduting college, moving across the country, moving back, finding the love of my life, buying a house, and getting engaged. There's nothing that could cheer me up when I was at my lowest like an arm full of ferrets. He was more than a stinky weasel he was a companion I will never forget. Perhaps Rocky had been sick all along... it seems as though as soon as he knew I had a good man to take care of me he no longer had to protect me, and he gave up fighting... One week after Michael and I got engaged one of the saddest days in my life occurred. There's a theory that when good things happen, bad things follow and vice versa, maybe it was just the vicious circle that is life. I don't think I've ever cried so much as I did yesterday. Its hard to lose anything, a pet, a loved one... but I have never lost anything that was in my care. Rocky's life was in my hands and there was nothing I could do to help. I was powerless and that's what hurts the most. Some people have said that "well, he's just a ferret"... well, a lot has changed in my life since Rocky first appeared... he was the only constant thing I had to hold on to for over 2 years. He was, my Rock. No matter how bad things got, Rocky was always there. I wish there was a way to thank him... but I think he understood. Rocky was always good at licking away my tears and getting me out of bed by attempting to drag important items under my dresser, or knocking over glasses of water... We all miss you Rocky.. your brother and sister especially. They've been looking for you and you are no where to be found. They're lost without you... you're the one who taught them all the good hiding places, and that when you stand up on your hind legs mommy gives you a treat.

I fear I didn't do enough and at the same time I fear I did too much... I tried as hard as I could to keep the little guy alive, did I prolong his suffering? There are a million questions I can ask myself and none of them make me feel any better... When summer comes I hope to plant a tree in Rocky's name where we laid him to rest on Sunday... perhaps a Ginko tree, so we will never forget...

Rest in peace baby boy... you are very loved. I'm sure there are plenty of pens, toothbrushes, pizza crusts, styrofoam plates, socks, notebooks, hair brushes, jingley balls, and anything else your little heart desires up in ferret heaven. Thank you for being part of my life and always making me smile. You truly are a little ferret angel. <3

and the planning begins...

One thing I'm dead set on doing with the help of my green-thumbed mother and aunts of course is growing my own flowers for centerpieces and possibly bouquets. Thank god other people have blogs!!!

http://growflowers.blogspot.com/

http://blog.amystewart.com/wedding.html

love it!!!!

centerpieces of live flowers, in dirt, are probably going to be the name of the game. I truly hate to kill things... especially helpless little beautiful blossoms!!! I'm thinking... an "ecclectic" (michael hates this word) assortment of found pots at flea markets and auctions would be very whimisical. Throw in some home grown flowers and top off the dirt with glass marbles and maybe a starfish or two for good luck ;-) just screams gorgeous to me... tell me if i'm wrong??? Who wouldn't want to take home some beautiful plants to grow for a few months after our wedding and have a lovely pot to remember the occasion forever!? I know I would! :-)

I also will be recruiting my life long friend Amanda to take our wedding pictures. This girl has had a camera attached to her hand since middle school. Not only do I love her, she's amazing! Also, I think we will be asking Jon (kristi's boyfriend) to work his camera magic on our special day.

Now all we need is a big backyard and all the fixins' 1 step at a time of course.

Engagement excitement!!!!

So its not very often I update this thing... I spend too much time playing useless games on facebook while I'm at work. But something happened this weekend that is just beyond too exciting to contain myself!!!

Michael proposed to me Sunday morning! There's kind of a build up to the story that I will now share.... So, for Christmas I made Michael a photo book of our "first year" on Snapfish. It came in the mail last week so I wrapped it and put it under the tree. Michael and I went out Saturday evening to watch the Flyers at Cousins (where we first 'hung out' the day after Christmas 1 year ago). So I wasn't feeling very well and the alcohol hit me harder than it should have.... i.e. I was plastered. So we return to 9 Clayton Ave. to find that the dogs have completely destroyed the presents under the tree, wrapping paper everywhere causing me to have a drunken nervous breakdown, of course. LUCKILY the book that took me like 3 weeks to put together only has minor dog-damage to one corner of it. Mike thinks it "adds character." Which, in a way is true... the dogs have shown their destruction in every inch of our house, why not my Christmas present to Mike? So, I wake up in the morning... feeling just aweful. I truly was a pitiful wreck. So we paged through the photo book together as I pouted and sniffled and coughed, pitifully and then Mike said that it was only fair that since he got his present early, I should get mine. So, he disappears and reappears and hands me a beautifully wrapped box with a bow on it. Of course, deep down I was HOPING I knew what it was... But Mike's pretty slick and I thought maybe he was going to pull a fast one on me and in this tiny little box could've been a number of random tiny things... But after it took me 15 mins to remove the bow and wrapping paper I saw the box was in fact from Murphy's! AHH THEN I OPENED THE BOX to see the shiniest most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life... So, now I'm almost crying and Mike asked "Hunny will you marry me?" Which prompted a quick scolding from me.. "Do you even have to ask!!" It was absolutely perfect... Regardless of the sniffles and the sore throat and the dogs destroying his surprise... it was perfect. I couldn't think of any better place for him to propose other than the house we love so much, in our bed, with our dogs on a lazy lazy Sunday... all cuddled up under the covers on a cold December morning. :-)

My only regret... ordering our Christmas cards last week! I could've been sporting this beautiful three-stone wonder in all our Christmas pictures... Still though, since I plan on ordering another photo book in the first place... I might as well tack on the pictures of the ring and some pictures from Gina's on Christmas Eve and Alice's on Christmas day... and of course Ben and Jackie's on New Years. So then, the book will REALLY be our WHOLE first year... no exclusions!

So many fantastic things have happened this year, its really hard to imagine that this whole thing started with a mass "merry christmas" text message to everyone in the phone... which luckily included Michael! :-) I love the holidays!!! Actually, I love everyday!!! And really... the best is yet to come :-)

We've decided that we will officially tie the knot June 2011, the color scheme is champagne and cranberry (very romantic!)... it will be an outdoor wedding with a "subtle beach theme" and we already found a cake topper!!! :-) and of course I already have a "style" of dress I'll be looking for (not anytime soon of course) but if I happen to stumble upon a bargain I might snatch something up!

late nights.

There comes a time in a second-shifter's life where enough is enough. Its nearly 3am and not only am I wide awake, but I have a margarita. *sigh* what is my life amounting to? Maybe it wouldn't seem so desperate and depressing if I were in the living room with the dog with the "hubby" and other dog in bed... Maybe if the roomie were home I might not be feeling like such a "college kid" waiting to grow up. Its not a life everyone can appreciate. I could stay up til 5am without batting an eyelash. To a college kid, I'm god. To a working adult... I'm crazy! *sigh again* Regardless... I'm kicking ASS at Cash Cab right now. Too bad I can't actually win that money. Darn.

I wish I had some rediciously funny story to tell or something exciting about me life... but to be honest its the same shit different day thing we all hear about. I feel mundane.

I've been playing a lot of online facebooky games lately. I feel as though its stifling my creativity. I used to write and.... well think, a lot more than I do. I'm disappointed in a sense, but greatful too. Sometimes thinking isn't the best thing to be doing. Haha, I mean, I work in a factory or christ's sake, I have my college degree and I work in a factory. Its not so bad, I guess. I have insurance I don't ever use?

Oh I hate to sound depressed. I am TRULY kicking ass in cash cab. lol I need to be using my intelligence, istead of wasting it.

All things asside... I love Mike, I love our house and I love the dogs and ferrets. I'm happy I have a decent job... I guess that's really all I have to say for now. I'm disappointed in my lack of creativity in blogging. I apologize.

It is 3am afterall...

its been a while...

I always forget about this blog... I have a tendency to relieve all my brain "belches" onto my lovely lab partner... Today the topic of conversation was "losing faith in humanity." The recent events that sparked this conversation were
1. someone robbed a dairy queen at gun point and actually held people hostage
2. Michael Vick.

What is the world coming to? Those two things alone really have made me believe the apocolypse is truly upon us. Then again, on that note, I'd like to say that any ailment can be cured, or atleast relieved by simply looking a cute picture of a puppy!

:-)








So now that I'm smiling again maybe I should elaborate a bit more on life the past few weeks. Having a house is wonderful, I love every inch of the entire experience. There's no way to describe it... I truly feel like a "grown up." I think that the most difficult time in someone's life are the transition periods... high school to college, college to "real world"... Highschool to college is easy... you meet your friends, you have a ton of fun, accomplish a lot, learn a ton... ultimately grow. College to "real world" served to be a bit tough for me... jam packed full of heart break, disappointment, unemployment, separation anxiety from my friends... Well, and then... then I met Mike. Everything fell into place, my poor little broken, stomped on, trampled, empty, whatever was left of my heart got a complete overhaul and everything I thought I knew about men went completely out the window. Thank god for that, because I was NOT doing so well when it came to the opposite sex, my endless string of useless relationships was really starting to take it toll when every low life scum bag dick I dated slowly took a piece of my heart with them when they screwed me over... I honestly thought I had nothing left to give. They all tell you, "when you know, you just know" and I thought that for sure that was a crock of steaming shit, because I thought I new everything... However, I'll be damned, because when you know, you just know. And believe it or not this time I KNOW. A lot of people were critical, actually still are critical of my relationship with Mike... We've only been dating 9 months and we already have a house, 2 dogs, a mortgage, we're eachother's beneficiaries for christ sake. This is some serious shit.

not to interrupt my proclamation of love for my boyfriend... but there's some HYSTERICAL shit going on in the lab right now... my mom just called and told me that my phone bill is 100 dollars.... and I used 0 ZERO of 5000 MINUTES HAH! Fuck you AT&T!!! Then amanda got in a fist fight with kevin, now elmer's all up in this shit

OMG. Rediculous!!!!!! NEVER A DULL MOMENT here at ICO.

the forgotten blog...

Well I certainly have not written for quite some time. Sadly to say, my free time at work has been consumed by Farm Town. And if you don't know, don't ask. haha.

Updates include...
the house is painted, and all decorated... we still need kitchen tile and crown moulding... (a weekend project for my love, of course)...
The housewarming party was fantastic! We have a stocked liquor cabinet to prove it... haha.. Now i'm really excited for the next two house warming parties!!! The Mitten/Becker and the Foreman/Gray!!
Ah yes, which brings me to the newest addition to the family... Thor Thunderwolfe Hartman. The monsterous lovebug big baby that has entered our life and destroyed my favorite shoes. He's really very sweet... but has some separation anxiety issues... as well as some past issues with males... also a gluttony issue... all of which we are lovinly working on. Yes Thor is a handful, but that's okay because he's a handful of love too :-)

The month of August has turned out to be an exciting one thus far... with Ben and Jackie moving on the 1st.. as well as the unforgettable amazing Elton John and Billy Joel concert... <3 Which turned into the 2nd (my 23 b-day!!) Which is when we got our large bundle of joy Thor... Then a week of work... A weekend of play with the dogs, a long walk into town for food at Como, mini-golf with Eric and Melinda... a night out with the ladies which is always eventful and exciting. Id like to throw in that I smoked a cigarette with John Gosselin... who was not quite so interesting OR attractive, for all of your information. Which brings me to the terrorous thunderstorm that is Thor... The list of things that Thor has eaten is as follows...
one plate of birthday brownies, one bowl of hershey's kisses with almonds, one ralph lauren (100 dollar) high heel, one bag of dog treats, one chicken sandwhich, and many many many bowls of food that belonged to Pepito. The most eventful of the list of course was the Hershey kisses with almonds... because Thor has been shitting gold nuggets that shine and glisten in the summer sun for 2 days. Needless to say, he's a lucky pup for eating all that garbage and not getting sick... Oh Thor...

That brings me to today... in the midst of yet another boring work week... filled with old men cursing, my 21 year old lab partner's foul and entertaining stories and a boss who promises me things that I will never ever recieve... such as a raise, a better position and dinner to name a few...

Now the future holds many exciting things... first and foremost, tomorrow. Thursday, my last day of work for the week which yields the ever anticipated weekend... Michael and I will be headed to Gaithersburg, MD to help Ben and Jackie while leaving the little pooch with Nana Gina and the big monster with Grandma Alice. Thank god for angels, i.e. mothers.

Next weekend, also and exiciting one... Friday, Luau in Chambersburg hosted by one of Michael's army buddies... Again, the dogs will be left with mothers (thank god for them)... Saturday, the Foreman/Gray housewarming picnic!! I'm so excited for that... I love this seemingly neverending chain of picnics...

The following weekend includes the ICO company picnic... Which, since I work with all crazy people, should be one for the record books. That evening I will be attending Legends to accompany Channy on her 24th b-day, with all the ladies of course... Hopefully, another run-in with John Gosselin will not be on the list of events for the night.

And the big summer finale!!! Assateague!! Its gonna be an exciting and eventful end of summer.

Somewhere in there, Michael starts school and I start EMT classes. How that's going to fit into my schedule of picnics, hasn't really occurred to me until this very moment... which leaves me the option of calling RACC and changing my classes to the next session which starts in December... I'm pretty sure I'll be able to work around it. I'm pretty resiliant in my young age.

I'd post pictures, but to be honest, I'm too lazy!

Thats all for now folks.

9 clayton ave--- before

hardly working...

1. Where did you take your profile pic?
<~ that one is from ocean city NJ, the other one on my profile is from cozumel mexico!

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Belikin Beer shirt from Belize

3. What is your current problem?
I am at work and I would rather not be...

4. What makes you happy most?
my loved ones, family, friends, aminals, my house and the fact that everything in it is not mine, its ours :)

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
Hit em up? I dunno its some silly song on the radio

6. Any celeb you would marry?
only one person I'd marry...

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Krystal

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
yep in HS

9. Has anyone ever said u look like a celebrity?
someone told me christina applegate, but i just don't see it

10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
i <3 cartoons, and we just watched finding nemo 2 nights ago

11. Do you speak any other language?
i know some german and some spanish...

12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
unfortunately, yes

13.Do you ever watch MTV?
never ever ever

14. What is something that really annoys you?
BAD DRIVERS! and new jersey, the two go hand in hand

Chapter 1:
===============

1. Middle name:
Marjorie

2. Nickname(s):
T-bizz, bizzle, t-bag, t-rock, bartowski, blondy, blue eyes

3. Current location:
6355 Farm Bureau Road, Allentown PA 18106, to be precise.

4. Eye color:
blue

Chapter 2:
===============

1. Do you get along with your parent(s):
yes indeed.

2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced
married, for a looong time

Chapter 3: Favorite
===============

1. Ice Cream:
bubble gum!!!!!

2. Season:
summer!

Chapter 4: Do You..
===============

1. Dance in the shower?
sometimes

2. Do you write on your hand?
a lot!

3. Call people back?
only if i like them

4. Believe in love?
very much so

5. Any bad habits
leaving drawers, cabinets and such open... hehe

6. Any mental health issues?
WORK-A-HOLIC

Chapter 5: Have You..
===============

1. Broken a bone?
a few small ones

2. Sprained anything?
yes definately.

3. Had physical therapy?
yup

5.Taken painkillers?
yup

6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling?
snorkeling yes... i really really want to go scuba diving

7. Been stung by a bee?
yup

8. Thrown up at the dentist?
haha no? does that normally happen?

9. Sworn in front of your parents?
yes, always

10. Had detention?
never.


Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
===============

1. Movie(s)
finding nemo!

2. Three people to text you?
mike, gennie, annie

3. Person you called?
amanda

4. Person you hugged?
mike :)

5. Person you tackled?
haha? i haven't really done much tackeling lately

6. Person you talked to on IM?
oh geeze, don't really do the im thing anymore

7. Thing you touched?
keyboard.

8.Last thing you ate
flavor blasted goldfish nothin' but nacho!!! POW

9. Thing you drank?
pepsi

10. Thing you said?
I dunno, i haven't said anything in a while, i'm all alone in the lab today

=============== How I end my sentences==============

1. My ex...
is not important.

2. Maybe I should...
go in the office and take a nap! screw work

3. I love...
animals

4. People would say that I...
am insane

5. I don't understand why...
i don't get paid more to sit at work and blog! haha

6. When I wake up in the morning I...
play with my puppy

7. I lost my...
faith in the system.

8. Life is full of...
ups and downs

9. My past is...
interesting, and makes for good story tellin'

10. I get annoyed very quickly...
when people underestimate me

11. Parties are ...
necessary

12. I wish life was not...
so full of work

13. Dogs are...
the greatest, best friends in the world

14. Cats are ...
stupid pets, and they make me itchy and sneezy

15. Tomorrow is...
going to be full of fun!! rain or shine :-)

16. I have a low tolerance for...
caffiene

17. If I had a million dollars...
i'd rescue all the puppies in shelters!

18. I'm totally terrified...
of nothing worth mentioning

19. My spouse is going to be...
Michael <3 whether he likes it or not!

20. Money is...
a pain in the butt... the more you make, the more they take. what the heck.

like it, love it, gotta have it!

ah home sweet home... settling down, painting, decorating, fixing and what not. love it.

<3 more blogging later

I feel like bouncing!

Ah excitement!!! Settlement tomorrow!!! I honestly think I need a sedative... because all day long, my heart has been beating like a hummingbird's. Did you ever get so excited you can't feel fingers and your toes?!? Maybe that's just me... but really... I'm stuck in the never ending cycle of almost crying happy tears and passing out from excitement. The adrenaline is pumpin!!! I feel like I could definately stay up, all night, and be awake all day tomorrow and paint and move every peice of furniture we have by myself. Ecstatic does not even cover it. I think the best part about it all is that my parents are out of town... and by the time they get back we'll be moved into our new house!!!! I feel so.. grown up :-D The funny thing is, I think about how much I couldn't WAIT to get out of hamburg... and now I can't WAIT to spend the rest of my life in the silly little town. It really is just too freaking cute. Its really true though... most of us Hamburgians just never leave!

Ahh I get to bask in the glory of our adorable brick capecod for the rest of my life. I'm so happy... :-D I feel like bouncing! and going WeEEEeeeEEEE!!!!! Some one pinch me... I feel like I'm in heaven.

<3

a butterfly with wet wings...

Ah yes, yet another Saturday spent at ICO... while everyone else is sipping frosty beverages, soaking up the sun and laughing with their friends and loved ones... here i rott. Now, I must say that althought I despise working on Saturdays, I find it necessary to eat up as much company time as possible... because, afterall, I spend a majority of my time here surfing the internet, blogging, and of course facebook stalking. So all in all, I'm not necessarily the loser here. However, I think I'm low on vitamin D from lack of sunlight. I'm also low on excitement... due to the excessive amounts of time spent reading the news and catching up on the latest celebrity gossip, which really in turn, makes me low on brain cells as well. All work and no play make Tara... TaraBull. Hmmf. I truly want to throw a full on temper tantrum... stomping feet, crying, throwing things, yelling and all... WAHHH!!! :'(

To be completely honest, I could walk out the door right now and no one could even say anything about it. Saturday is "make your own schedule day." But unfortunately I'm feeling guilty about the 30$ bar tab Mike and I racked up at Cousins last night... and I just feel a bit better knowing that I'm making up for it. Consequently that means giving up another Saturday that could be spent drinking and socializing. I think the biggest blow this job has produced has been to my social life. I'm like a butterfly with wet wings... *sigh*

I guess this is the American dream... work your life away to have things you can't really afford. Yet, we forge on... a whole shit ton of us... 90% of our lives consist of work, sleep and food leaving a mere 10% for fun activities. You'd think spending this much time working... you couldn't even fathom spending 100% of your paycheck, in 10% of your time... but oh yes, it happens.

Its absurd to wrap my mind around the fact I've been doing this job for nearly a year... I'm surprised I have any friends at all... I truly am that girl who always works. Crap.




And this is my entertainment for the day... :-P

easy as 1,2,3...

Oh M.J. one of my favorite and beloved pop stars. I always defended you during the bad times... I hope you're in celebrity heaven. Many tears will be shed for you today.

And Farrah Fawcett... the Girl Next Door... who made blond hair blue eyes beautiful babes what they are today..

Ed McMahon... not really a fan... but sad to see you go, all the same.

Bad things come in threes they say.... but when you think about it, 3 to me, is a different 3 to someone else... which is exponentially, and devistatingly, tragic.

Here's to having the strength to hope for a better tomorrow... and carrying on... taking life one day at a time, while we still can. Our time here is precious... we should spend it smiling... because tomorrow is another chance, to make the best of what we have. Remembering the lost... with smiles on our faces of the precious, wonderful memories we had... and all the more amazing times we will have in the future, with you in our hearts. With love to all we've lost...

there's no place like home...

Less than 1 week til closing and I'm absolutely ecstatic. Everything is falling so nicely into place. All the peices of the puzzle are present and accounted for. We have all our ducks in a row and our eggs in plenty of different baskets. The paint colors are picked, the furniture is gathered, fridge is on hold, hot tub is bought, boxes are collected, schedules are cleared, parents' have been alerted. There's no stopping us now... homeownership, here we come.

I thought that the most exciting day of my life would be a toss up between getting married and having a baby... but this house-buying thing has got to be up there. So far, buying a house is definately better than getting a puppy... a big-girl job... moving across the country... graduating college... my first apartment... graduating highschool... first car... prom... my first kiss... first date... but then again, I guess the excitement progresses as the years go by... and all these firsts are the building blocks of the next. Its times like these where I wish i kept a scrapbook of all the first in my life. For what an accomplishment it would be looking at the progression from graduating kindergarten.. losing my baby teeth... so on and so on until today, right now, all grown up, in love and buying a house.

Ever since college I've had some kind of complex that no matter where I lived, no place felt like home... I was constantly clicking together my ruby slippers in hopes something would wisk me away to a place I could call home... Maybe along that yellow brick road of life I've learned all the lessons I'll ever need to know.... I'm thrilled to say that I no longer feel like a drifter.

give me a lollypop and I'll tell you to suck it.

I've come to realize something this weekend... I've officially sold my soul to corporate america. Lets just break down my "weekend" for you all. I worked 3-11:30pm on Friday... came home, slept a bit, woke up at 6:30am to work at 8am... Worked from 8am-5:30pm... went home, went out to dinner, hung out with my brothers, went to the bar til 2am, hung out with some people til like 3:30am? Woke up at 10am-ish... did some window shopping... bought a HOT TUB! Went to Michael's to hang out with Alice and Daniel... came home, slept for an hour... woke up at 10pm, went to work at 11pm and I'm stuck here til 7:30am.

Just a short recap... Second shift-Friday, First shift- Saturday, Third shift- Sunday. Why would any sane human being do this to themselves? Money. Why am I physcially and mentally exhausted? Money. Money Money Money Money. I now know why people have nervous breakdowns... the more you work, the more money you make, the more taxes they take out... and you're working your ass off... and barely making enough to pay the bills let alone afford all of the amenities I desire... appliances, furniture, paint, decorations, trinkets, vacations, a deck, a finished basement, hot tub, pool, faux stone finish, kitchen tile, and other such HGTV-esk items. Why does it seem like the more money you make, the more you desire? You think the money would be enough... but it never is. When I was flat broke, I was as happy and desireless as a clam... give me food and shelter, I was freaking set. Get me a job, put some money in my bank account and all I want is stuff. I want a house, I want nice things, I want I want I want. And greed is one of those seven deadly sins... not like I think I'm gettin' into heaven anyway... but it makes me feel like a bad person. I don't think I've ever wanted so much in my entire life. Even as a child... give me a lollypop and a stuffed animal I'm the happiest blond hair blue eyed beauty you've ever seen. Now, give me a lollypop and I'll tell you to suck it... I want something way better than sugar on a stick. I wan creme brule, banana's foster, tiramisu. Give me a stuffed animal... yeah, suck on that too. That peice o' junk's a dog toy. Give me a stainless steel dishwasher, a glass range-top and a dark teal washer/dryer combo. So I want these things, and I want them now... and the only way to get it is to make more money... work more hours... leaving less and less time for me to love my hunny, play with my dog, use all my expensive stuff! Its a viscious cycle... you buy things to save time because you don't have any time because you're constantly working to make more money so you can buy things, to save time and money. It makes my brain cells scream. I feel like such... an American. A stereotypical, keep up with the Jones', my shits better than your shit, kind of yuppy that I always hated. I used to be a minimalist... whatever I had was all I needed. Now I'm a materialist. I have to say it does make me feel "grown up" but inside I still want my lollypop. Growing up, having responsibilities isn't something I truly ever imagined myself doing. I was never a fan of "stuff." Now, I love stuff. I want more stuff. I need stuff.... stuff stuff stuff. Its easier to fall into the "stuff" market than it was to stay out and badmouth it. Hell yes, I want STUFF! Things, things to do, things to do nothing with, junk, a sign in my bathroom that says "BATH 5 CENTS." I want knick nacks and doo dads and things with no purpose. I want to fill glass jars, with glass beads and sit them on shelves that are only used to hold my glass jars with glass beads! I want a hot tub, because I've been working my ass off so I can get nice shit.. and I damn well better be able to come home from a long day at work and take advantage of my money, in STUFF form! I feel like I sold out... but I fucking love it. I'm hungry for stuff... I like to walk through stores and pick stuff up, but never buy it... because I'm too good for that stuff. I need better stuff, the best stuff. And if I'm lucky, it'll be on sale. I'll find it at a yard sale, Marshalls, BigLots! Hell yes. This money grubbing, greedy little bitch is a bargain shopper. And why? because you can get more stuff if you don't pay as much for it. I'm always on the prowl for a good find. Hell yes we bought a $6,000 hot tub for $1000 dollars! Where, craiglist mother fuckers. CRAIGSLIST of CHAMPIONS! Where's my favorite necklace from- EBAY. SUCK IT! It was cheap, and it is AWESOME. I love it, I love it, I love it. Bargains bargains bargains! And you know what else? I'll sell someone else my junk, so I can get better junk. You bet your ass, I will. Who says the best things in life are free? The best things in life are ON SALE! Hell yes. The best things in life are $.89 cent burritos, 5 dollar foot-longs, upgrades, bartered. I've got the fever... the fever for a blue light Walmart special. The fever for the FREE section on Craigslist. The FEVER for Ebay! The fever for yardsales and bargain stores, hell even ground scores, curb finds, dumpster diving. Bring it on I say! Bring it on. I guess this is what happens when you become a home owner. The more stuff you own, the more stuff you want to own, another viscious cycle. Then comes upgrading... you can always upgrade... new shit comes out, every single day. Something that's 1 year old is outdated... especially with all this new crazy technology. And "green living" there's always crazy new ideas! Why not get a solar feild? Why not a tankless water heater? Why not collect rain water to flush the toilets... this shit is genius! It saves you money, so you can buy more shit! Oh these market geniuses have really got their claws in me... Them Jones's is screwed son... Move over hunny.. I've got this shit on lock down. Maybe I'm trying to out do my big brothers... maybe it just about finally doing things for myself... But really... its about impressing myself. Its about impressing my loved ones and showing my family I'm not just the little sister. I'm grown up now... I've fallen in love with Mike, I've fallen in love with a house, and I'm going to fall in love with everything in that house. Its about commitment.... and its about love. And I'm in love and absolutely commited to all the stuff I have and will have in the future. Its about... settling down... getting comfortable in the life I want to live forever. Its about our white picket fence, somewhere that's green, with our 2.5 kids and our mini van. Its about sacrificing what I had for what I want and never giving up my dream to live "happily ever after."



sometimes love just happens.. and it happens hard and it happens fast... and you know that in your heart and in your soul.. it just doesn't get any better than this. and I know as long as I live, I'll be happy as long as we can stay, just like this forever

monday feels like Theusday? 0.o

When Friday feels like Monday... and Saturday feels like Tuesday... Sunday feels like Wednesday... Monday is Theusday? Wunday? Frusday? Materday? Thunday? Wuesday?Tonday? Muesday?



Now I'm no genius... the days of the week tend the blur together in a mishmosh of memories when you work on the weekends...



I guess in the end it doesn't really matter what day it actually is... but its nice to know... if i were to get in a horrific car accident and the EMT's asked me what day it was.. I'm certain I would answer incorrectly. Do I have brain damage? Or am I simply a work-a-holic? Maybe there's truly no difference between the two... I am disabled... time-disabled, socially disabled... I believe this is an illness that plagues many. Perhaps there should be a W.A. work-a-holics anonymous. The largest orgnization of hardworking Americans plagued by bills and mortgages, mouths to feed... Government funded.... mandatory weekly meetings... 12 hours of social interaction among peers away from the workplace. Paid weekly vacation for all. Decreases in crime... increase in buying, increase in libido! What a dream.



Dear Mr. President Obama,



Work-a-holism is plaguing the country. I am proposing that work-a-holics be compensated for their emotional stress. We are disabled human beings. Work-a-holics suffer from depression, insomnia, constant worry, anxiety, back aches, neck aches, bunyons, tendonitis, carpal tunnel, arthritis, muscle aches, pains, early onset diabetes, erectile dysfunction even! And, that's just scratching the surface. We need fair and just compensation for our troubles. It is work-a-holics that keep this country going... the over-worked, the under-paid, the shit on, the underdogs, the low man on the totem pole, the always deserving of a raise that never sees a dime, the over-taxed, the un-insured, the 2 job man, the penny pincher, the smart shopper. We are socially disabled, sleep deprived, broke, bill paying, law abiding citizens who need a break, a paid vacation, a free massage, a shopping spree, a hug, a new car, a raise, a tax deduction, a pre-paid credit card, an interest free loan, free education, and for Christ's sake free health care. Throw us a freaking bone here!!!



Sincerely,



The concerned citizens of America.

Craigslist... list of champions.

Searching craigslist...

Size 20 jeans.
1950's Toilet.
Old Lumber.
Free bricks.
Ladies Poncho.
Kittens.
Hotdogs.
Soy milk.
Free Manure!
62 Impala.
Beer stein.
Hospital bed.
Red sandals 6.5.
Irish knit sweaters.
Nitrous kit.
Pirates of the caribbean t-shirt.
Boat anchor.
Front door.
Love seat.
Assorted car parts.
Air jordans.
Rear view mirror.
Elmo chair.
Wedding dress.
Turtle sandbox.
Scooby-doo table.
Snowblower.
Bread.
Guinea pig.
Broken TV.
Aquarium.
Free teeth whitening.
Paint.
Baby food jars.
Soap.
Free chunks of concrete.
Junk.
Piano.
Pregnancy books.
Poplar trees.
Magazines, years old.
FREE ORGANS.

yardsales and hard tales.

Ah, a night I will never forget. The Penguins won the cup. It was a sad day in the lives of many as my beloved Red Wings skated off the ice, heads held high up in their asses... Tis a sad sad tale. So, we drank pitty beers in Kempton... Fun times, had by all in the hippied little farmhouse that could very well be in violation of many codes...

The day began at 7am, for some much needed unloading and uploading of things. Twas indeed a successful day. Things were sold, and given away... Things were found and purchased but as always, the best things in life are FREE! Ah, no sale could be better. So I spent the day with my lover, and got some money and some free stuff too. No one really loses on days like this. Especially when coinstar and a sack full of nickels is involved.

Ah yes, and now I spend yet another Saturday in the dusty pits of labor. Overtime is sweet. Monetarily speaking, today was a haul. Not to mention, it was completely painless. It feels like Christmas!!!

I feel as though I should come up with some sort of yard sale metaphor for life, as is my style... metaphors, simmalies... and that kind of happy grammar junk. Ah yes, junk. One man's junk is another man's pain in the ass... only when one's mind is deep in the gutter would some one think of some man-butter. Maybe life is really like a yard sale... We're all just passing stuff around until it finds its "forever home" around the world this thing might go, be it a spoon, or a unicorn... a pot, a lamp, a lover... Just passed around, exchanged hands over and over in hopes that someone will love it so much it won't come back to you again.

"Here are some shoes, I think you'll like them... "
"Sorry ma'am they're not for me..."
"How bout you? You like these shoes?"
"Sorry ma'am, I don't wear shoes, see?"
"What about you? These shoes look like they're made for you!"
"Why yes why yes! I love those shoes,
can I please take them off of you?"
"Of course of course, but for a price...
afterall, they're really really really nice..."
"They are! they are! I love them so!
How could you ever let them go??"
"Just take 'em will you? Have them for free!
afterall those shoes... they just aren't for me!
They were meant for you, I know
That is why I must let them go..."

If only life were that easy... Something/ someone doesn't work for you... Don't you wish you could just give them to someone else? Ah life would be a little easier if it were like a yard sale... its easier to let things go... when they have another home to go to.

This truly isn't making any sense... I guess what I'm trying to say... is if you're not happy with what you have, just know there's someone out there, somewhere looking for the hand that you've been dealt. And today, in yard sale land... all is right with the world... everything in its place... everyone with a smile on their face. :-D

<3 Tara-fic <3

I forgot about this blog.

All you have to do is fucking... know shit!

<3

a day in the life of a terror.

Blogging is fun, or so I'm told. Figured I'd take a stab at it... I'm not feeling very witty today howver, my place of employment is a complete creativity stifle. Small room, no windows, clean stark white... everything. Idiotic employees... but hey that's life and we all have to live it... I just think about the people that have to get up everymorning to clean the toilets at Taco Bell.... or the 30some year olds delivery my pizza and it all makes my life worth while. While some are slaving away working hard, on their feet just barely making ends meet... here I sit, watching American Dad and House on a computer in a comfy chair... comfy chair that SPINS! Oh yeah, bonus. Making decent money, wasting my intelligence, sitting on my ass. Its sad, yet awesome at the same time, kind of like my puppy... dumb as a stump but cute as a button. I find irony in my situation I guess. Its interesting to say the least. Young, cute, athletic, smart able bodied college graduate... working in a lab, in a factory, doing a job that a one armed, non-english speaking, 5 year old could do. Today has been less than interesting... no one got fired, no one broke a finger, got into a fight, came to work drunk... the old men didn't have any dirty racist jokes for me.. Just a regular day.

I think what's getting me through it all right now at this moment is the thought of being on a Caribbean cruise in 48 days. Ahhhh the beach, the sand, the ocean, my man. I'm super excited. But as any women concerned and fearful that I will not be the hottest young peice of ass on the shores... So what? I'm exercising *groan*.... walking the dog every morning, not eating an entire box of girl scout cookies in 1 sitting, or a whole bag of chips... yeah. I can pack away the food like its my job and still hold at a strong 120. However, bikini season always makes me a little leary... so I try to get my winter flub under control and tighten up a bit. Good stuff really... Anyway... I'm thinking of investing in an ABROCKET!!! (as seen on TV of course) My mother, who usually objects to me spending money on anything, obviously objects to me spending money on something to make me look like a super-hot Victoria's secret model. But me, on the other hand... it would be completely work the 97$ to post pictures of my looking smoking hot on my Myspace and rub it in all the poor schlubs faces who let me get away or took me for granted, cheated on me and broke my heart. You can't put a price on that.

Life is good, don't get me wrong but everyone's made some relationship mistakes... and every now and then it feels absolutely amazing to rub it in... I'm happy, I'm hot and I'm hey, I'm taken!! MMmm hm. It feels good, and it'll feel even better after I have "abrocket abs" hahahaha.
Ahh yes... only 2.5 more hours of this 2nd shift hell I live in.

It'll all be worth it someday... when I'm rich a famous for something... god only knows what... It'll be interesting though, that's for sure. But all I know is that I'm entirely to interesting to sit here and rott the rest of my life... Something bigger and better is out there, and its calling my name... I hear it in the distance... I just have to get a big closer before I can hear what its saying.

'Til next time..

TaraBull.